McSweeney’s List (12 November 2025)
Applying for grants is a grind. Ask any grant funded artist, or those who hope to be. They want a detailed description of what you're planning -- but in corpo-speak -- and your life story with a particularly bright spotlight shining on your difficulties, struggles, mental illnesses, and every subcategory of marginalization that you can squeeze into. You know, the bits you don't necessarily tell friends about, let alone strangers. Fun times. I don't have the energy, focus, or faith to apply for grants, but thankfully, the FTB crew has some helpers with experience in hand to roll our proverbial ball up the Sisyphonious mountain.
I was recently informed that they would need our artistic CVs, a basic, professional thing I've never had reason to create. Ugh I hate updating CVs, let alone creating one fresh. It's something Creative Director Andrew has been saying I needed for years, and he promised to help, but I'm good at sleight of hand distraction when it serves me, so we never got around to it. Score one for procrastination.
“I'm calling you later, and we're doing your CV tonight”, was the paraphrased text, and I knew my time was up. When the call came, we opened a Google Doc so we could live edit simultaneously. I had some dribs and drabs of my credits tucked in my phone notes, and between Andrew and I, we had the rest in our noggins. Still, I was daunted by the blank page: I don't have the arts education I wish I did, and certainly no shortlists to brag about, let alone awards. I'm an imposter. I've never done shit. I hate this.
But the page started filling up. Andrew started with the things we’ve done together, and things he's seen me do since we met, and I added some publishings I did when he was in -- high school or maybe younger. Yikes. But also, I was impressed. Do you mean to tell me that my first poem was published over twenty years ago?! On one hand, and I'm still here, feeling like a fake, on the other hand I've been doing this a long time, and I'm still doing it.
Years ago, working at my friend's hat kiosk at a craft festival, a couple of cool old broads caught my attention (and I say that in deep admiration of cool old broads). They were selling jewelry and art made out of mixed metals and leather. The pieces were elevated rock’n’roll, and seeing who had made them, made them even cooler. The women were stylish and self-possessed, looking quite silver and rock’n’roll themselves. And I wondered how old they were, but more importantly I wondered how old they were when they realized that they were professional artists. Or, if they too still felt like frauds, or if they were disappointed because they had hoped for one form or another of more by now.
See, the thing is, a lot of people used to do art; it's what kids do. But most of those people stop along the way. The people who don't stop, well, at some point, they become Artists. I'm not saying good artists, or rich artists, or even artists who sell their wares; I'm saying that if you are what you do, then you can certainly capitalize the A on artist when you've got your 10 000 hours, even if no one's ever heard of you. Even when you still feel like an imposter kid just doing the thing that brings you joy (or keeps your demons distracted, same-same).
As my CV took form, memories popped up: The spreadsheet I made to track where I had submitted which poem, the feeling of my first acceptance letter when I was sure this was the start of something grand. (It was not.) Or when I first started writing for a little blog called FTB(.net) and thought how it could really be something one day. And I thought I would probably write there for a bit, and it would look good on my CV, because this was probably a stepping stone anyway, and the start of something grand. (It was. But not as I envisioned.)
It's the envisioning that might lead us astray because if you asked me if my artistic career had turned out how I had envisioned, I’d say no, and thank heavens for that, because my artistic journey has been more varied and rich than I pictured it would be.
My CV (as yet unfinished…oh, that sounds profound, but I mean that we trailed off and there's much more to do) created a perspective whereby I could finally trace the path of the accomplishments I often let slip through my fingers as passing moments. I let them move into a realm where these things are just occasional anecdotes but not achievements, and they are. Reading over my path from published poet to Editor-at-Large is satisfying. The plot makes sense, and that always scratches the itch for me.
“The older I get, the more I realize that finding yourself is a myth sold to keep you searching forever. You don’t find yourself. You build yourself. Brick by brick. Choice by choice. Stop looking inward and start looking forward. You’re not hidden, you’re unbuilt.”
Spoken by Canadian entrepreneur and podcaster Scott Clary, when I read this quote this week, it struck me as true, even as someone who enjoys the journey inward. I consider myself to be a lot of things, like 32 flavors and then some. Or, a bitch, a lover, a child, a mother, a sinner, and a saint (#90sTunes, look’em up). But the act of listing my artistic accomplishments definitely helped to reinforce one of my favorite pillars of Self. As single events, they're only cool bricks, but when you put them together, well, now you have a platform, or a house, or a monument to who you’ve become.
And so, Dear Reader, I suggest you sit and make a list of the things you've done that make you You. Maybe it's songs you can play flawlessly, maybe it's recipes you can pull off better than they were originally written. Whatever it is, stand tall in the power of your accomplishments and all that you've built to be who you are. And as for the rest, it's a process, Babe. Always be building.
IT’LL BE WEIRD
Keep It Weird International Film Festival (KIWI Film Fest) is back for its 3rd edition!
From November 13 to 15, Montreal becomes the capital of strange cinema. For three nights, KIWI takes over the city with a delirious mix of genre-bending cinema that refuses to play by the rules.
Three evenings, three different programs, one trippy ride into the unknown!
Nov 13 - National Weirdographic at CMCE: Centre de médiation culturelle éphémère (4262 Ontario E., H1V 3S1)
A man so desperate for a soft touch that he looks for love in the sea dating pool, a small tree on a bender, the depressing life of a mythical creature, animal cosplaying in the woods! National Weirdographic features: humans, nature, and the strange. A hypnotic lineup of 13 short films exploring the blurry boundaries between the organic and the unsettling.
Nov 14 - Supernatural Selection at CCSE Maisonneuve (4375 Ontario E., H1N 3T4)
The life and agony of a clay sculpture, sexy oranges, the abuse lived by an adult toy, BURGERS! A program comprised of 18 short films put together by supernatural forces that explores multiple facets of life, sometimes beyond the bizarre, and the inexplicable.
Nov 15 - Make It Weird Film Competition at CCSE Maisonneuve (4375 Ontario E., H1N 3T4)
The flagship evening featuring short films under 5 minutes, made with 200$ or less. This probably sounds cheap, and we can confirm that IT IS! This closing night promises to be one of the most chaotic programs that is akin to a beautiful cinematographic trainwreck. Cash prize for the winners, and beer sold on site for the audience so they can get their buzz on while expecting the unexpected.
Three nights. 40+ Films. Zero filters.
From dark comedy to avant-garde experiments to midnight delirium. It’ll be weird.
🎟️ $18
Please note: no tickets are available at the door.
Poster by Alexandre Goulet.
WHAT: Keep it Weird International Film Festival
WHERE: Various locations
WHEN: Thursday, November 13 - Saturday, November 15, Doors @ 7 PM, Screening @ 8 PM
METRO: Viau (Green)
TICKETS: CabaneASang
COZY READ
Welcome to Chimera Open Mic, where you can read your own works of poetry and/or fiction to a supportive audience in the enchanted Librairie Phoenix.
Free to attend whether you would like to read or support. No reservations necessary. Sign up to read the night of the event.
5 minute time limit, must be your own writing.
Stick around and find some books to keep you cozy!
Hosted by Mel of Phoenix Curiosities.
WHAT: Chimera Open Mic
WHERE: Phoenix Books, 5928 Sherbrooke St W., Montreal, H4A 1X7
WHEN: Thursday, November 13 @ 7 PM
METRO: Vendôme (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
LIT EVENING
Glossolalia: the phenomenon of (apparently) speaking in an unknown language, especially in religious worship. It is practiced especially by Pentecostal and charismatic Christians.
Join us for another Accent Open Mic, an amazing evening of poetry and prose with featured readers Emmanuel Deraps, Robin Durnford, and Josh Quirion.
Sign up for the open mic at the door!
WHAT: Accent Vol. 126: “Glossolalia” with Emmanuel Deraps, Robin Durnford, and Josh Quirion
WHERE: Bar Le Record, 7620 Rue St. Hubert St., Montreal, H2R 2N6
WHEN: Sunday, November 16 @ 8 PM
METRO: Jean Talon (Orange & Blue)
DETAILS: Facebook
LADIES WHO LAUGH
Ladyfest is back to celebrate female, femme, and non-binary comedians! From up and comers to local legends, over 100 performers will be taking to various stages to make you laugh your socks right off. As it's a female festival, it feels very fair to say you might even laugh till you pee a little.
I don't have the space here to tell you about all the great shows (you can find them all here). I am, however, going to take this opportunity to promote my own show, because I'm super tickled.
Toast’Er is a Toast Battle. Ya, it's exactly what you think: a roast battle style compliment-off. Comedians in general don't seem wired to accept compliments, and women comedians even less so, but when you get us together, we genuinely have so much nice shit to say behind each other's backs! Here's our chance to give each other flowers publicly (a vulnerable and mortifying prospect, honestly, but that adds to the fun). The comics are already paired up and writing, plus, they'll be doing stand-up sets to keep us all grounded, and you all laughing extra.
I’ll be hosting this fabulous lineup of funny females I respect and adore! Featuring Dayna Lieberman, Julie Santini, Flo Penicaud, Saanya Nanda, Elspeth Wright, and Abby Stonehouse. That's hella talent in one place, Y’all, and I'm touched I get to play with these folks. Get your tickets, and come experience something new!
WHAT: Ladyfest presents Toast’Er: Compliments Are Poppin’ Up
WHERE: BMP Co-op, 3714 Parc Ave., Montreal, H2X 2J1
WHEN: Monday, November 24, Doors @ 815, Show @ 830
METRO: Place-des-Arts (Green)
TICKETS: LePointDeVente
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 10 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
