McSweeney’s List (22 October 2025)
Dawn McSweeney is the Editor-at-Large for Forget the Box. She's an essayist, a novelist, a comedian, and a pretty neat lady all around.
Circa 2012, I wrote an article about Cabot Square for the previous incarnation of this magazine. I wrote about how counterintuitive it was for us to turn a blind eye to the degradation of the park and the area as a whole. I told the story of my friend walking through the park with her young son, and a man approaching them, undoing his pants. I probably told the story of finding an unconscious woman on the stairs of my job one Sunday morning; how I couldn't wake her, got scared, called 911, and when EMT did finally wake her, she was livid to have been disturbed.
It was one of the rare times that people took to their keyboards to share their thoughts, and what came back was fascinating: I was deemed a privileged racist. An interesting turn, considering I don't even know what the guy trying to take his dick out in front of a child looked like. More interesting that readers prioritized race and class over child safety, but those aren't conversations worth having on the internet. That's a shame in and of itself: the fact that the place where we can globally meet and share ideas is apparently useless for nuance; the fact that the place where we could gather information and strength and build a revolution, is actually just a cesspool of ignorance, vitriol, and AI videos.
But I digress.
On the subject of the area around Atwater metro, and the virtue signalling hearts who were content to look the other way and demand that others do the same: how the fuck is that going for you?
The other night, taking advantage of the small remaining window for casual strolls, I headed along St. Cat’s, east from Alexis Nihon. It's a walk I take often enough, filled as it is with a combination of distractions, nostalgia, and small deaths. The sign for Melange Magick is still in its old window, keeping the place fresh in my memory. It meant so much then, when things weren't available online, when you couldn't Google to find the esoteric information or local secrets, so you had to find them. Perhaps it's because the tourists have flown away for the season, and businesses have packed away their festival spirits, but this time all the sights were dismal.
Make no mistake, the city renovated Cabot Square. While it was a long past due overhaul, I have a sneaking suspicion they thought it was all they had to do to revitalize the area. But no facelift can fix the soul. It wasn't even 8 PM, and already there was a woman standing at a bus stop, unable to use the shelter because it's someone's home. Past the park, in front of an abandoned business, there's a group of people, often drinking, the street stained with urine. They ask for money, but even when they don't, they're unnerving: a mostly male group of inebriated folks, hanging around the sidewalk, seeming territorial. I keep my senses on high alert around there. This neighborhood is the only place I've actually seen a vial of crack in someone's hand.
The stores are closing, and then sitting abandoned for years. Cock ‘n’ Bull closed in 2009, bought by the infamous Sergakis, and it’s empty. Melange Magick closed its doors in 2013, and the space is still vacant. There are new, shiny, multilevel car dealerships on the strip now; exactly what the community needed, I'm sure.
From 2018 to 2024, the number of people who go unsheltered for even one night in Montreal has doubled.
But it's not their fault! But addiction, and mental health! Stfu and listen. Keeping people housed, and getting mental health support to the people are government jobs. Not like oh, I guess it's their job, but rather it's the job. As is keeping the streets safe, and maintaining bus shelters for people to use for waiting for buses. Keeping crack off the street is their bag too. Each time you scream that we shouldn't talk about it, you provide the cover under which the government can continue to sit on its hands.
Canadians are super good at finger pointing. We're holier than thou as a matter of course, sneering at the way other countries work. We brag about free healthcare as people languish and die on waiting lists. But look how bad it is in the USA! they cry, implying that there are only two ways to skin a cat. In fact, our Medicare system most closely resembles those of Taiwan and South Korea, but only Cuba and North Korea suppress private options the way we do. European countries (you know, the ones we always say we're like), actually have private options for when things get out of hand. And as someone who works in healthcare, allow me to assure you that things are out of hand.
But we don't want to talk about our problems. We relish watching the international news shit show as if we're sitting in secure luxury, because that's easier, isn't it? It feels so much nicer to tsk at the way other people are handling their shit, while we ignore our own pile. We scream free speech when they cancel a talk show host, and say he deserved it when someone we disagree with gets shot in front of his family for saying words. That's the real free speech: the right for someone to say words you don't like without going to prison for it, and ostensibly, without being killed. Because the same people screaming about a talk show are the same people who celebrated when countless people had their socials deplatformed when that was the popular response to disagreement; what's good for you isn't the same for me, you see.
(By the by, I strongly suggest you look into bills C-8 and C-9, proposals that will increase the government's right to surveil you, and even press charges for online posts. I'm fairly certain the majority aren't following these bills, as evidenced by the general shock that unfolded after C-18 came into effect, making it impossible to share news on Canadian social media. That same law got Forget The Box’s socials shut down because we were too “newsy”, and we had to rebuild from absolute zero.)
So let me assure you, none of this is news. It's actually just what we've been -- and are being -- slow boiled onto. This isn't news, it's already happening, all I'm saying is that we should call ‘em as we sees ‘em.
We can't fix what we are unwilling to acknowledge. And we'll probably only acknowledge things when they're so bad we wonder how we got here. But that's already happening, isn't it? In 2012, I was already asking how things had gotten out of hand, and surprise surprise, 13 years later, it's worse. It's worse because we didn't nip it in the bud, we instead raged at anyone who mentioned it. So I'm suggesting that maybe we shouldn't spend the next decade pretending nothing is wrong. Maybe, if we name the things that are broken, we can begin to actually fix things. Maybe just fucking maybe, if we call bullshit, we can dispel the shackles of but America, and remember that there’s a whole world beyond Us and Them, and start to come up with unique solutions for our city's (province’s, country's) unique problems.
Speak truth even when it's unpopular. Research things instead of parroting what you heard from a guy at a bar once. Make sure you're registered to vote on November 2nd, and if you aren't, well, it seems the registration cutoff was October 16 (how is that ok?! Unlike the federal election, you can't show up with your ID the day of. So, apparently, I will not be voting. Ain't that some shit?). And please note, if I have to say all this again in ten years, I'll be disappointed in more than just the system.
ART & NEW FRIENDS
Calling all creative women for an evening of art and chit-chat!
An evening where you can be creative, chat and connect with other women. Please bring your art supplies, like sketchbooks, colouring books, small canvas, watercolours, etc., that can fit a shared table with others.
No previous art experience or skillset is required.
There are no costs associated with this event, just bring your own art supplies.
WHAT: Women's Art Circle
WHERE: Indoor space in Parc La Fountaine, DM for details.
WHEN: Thursday, October 23, from 5 PM to 7 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
TOO OLD TO TRICK OR TREAT, TOO YOUNG TO STAY IN
It's a pre-Halloween bar crawl! Put on your costume, have some drinks, and spread the spooky fun vibes!
Crawl through 5 bars (McLean’s, Mad Hatter, Brutopia, Hurley's, and McKibbins), max 45 minutes each (except the last). Plus, there will be a Halloween Bingo challenge running through the whole night, with prizes on the line!!!
Remember to eat first and hydrate consistently, Party Animals!
WHAT: The Halloween (Creepy) Crawl
WHERE: McLean’s Pub, 1210 Peel St., Montreal, H3B 2T6
WHEN: Friday, October 24 @ 730 PM
METRO: Peel (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
M-M-M-MUSIC! (INSTEAD OF MONSTER, YOU KNOW?)
These fab folks love spooky season, so they're putting on a show to bask in the candy coated ghoulish vibes with you! Catch She Came to Quit, Fever Visions, Barnacle, and King Death.
$15 (no one turned away for a lack of funds).
WHAT: She Came to Quit, Fever Visions, Barnacle, and King Death
WHERE: L’Hémisphère Gauche, 217 Rue Beaubien St. E., Montreal, H2S 1R5, Canada
WHEN: Friday, October 24, Doors @ 8 PM, Show @ 9 PM
METRO: Beaubien
DETAILS: Facebook
SMASH THROUGH THE TOURIST GAZE
The Colonial Secrets of Old Montreal Walking Tour smashes through the “tourist gaze” to reveal the area’s hidden histories, glossed-over facts and dark truths. This tour features dark stories of colonial violence and graphic descriptions of numerous brutal atrocities.
Starting at Pointe-à-Callière Museum, the site of the Ville-Marie Fort of 1642, the tour takes guests to the most notorious colonial places in Old Montreal.
These include Place-Royale, the Old Seminary, and the Place D’Armes. We also visit the site of the old Hotel-Dieu Hospital and conclude the tour where colonial authorities executed a black slave woman in 1734.
The tour is approximately 90 minutes and is hosted by guides with lived experience.
Currently in the testing phase, this tour has only a $5 reservation fee.
This is a presentation of Hidden Montreal, Haunted Montreal's new sister company. Stay tuned for more details about other Hidden Montreat tours!
WHAT: Colonial Secrets of Old Montreal Walking Tour
WHERE: Pointe à Callière - Montreal Museum of Archeology and History, 350 Place Royale, Montreal, H2Y 3Y5
WHEN: Saturday, October 25 @ 2 PM
METRO: Place-d’Armes (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
ALMOST THERE
Confabulation presents: Are we there yet? – stories of missed connections, layovers, and all kinds of baggage.
Confabulation, Montreal’s original true life storytelling series continues with another night of stories – true as we can tell them.
Expect stories of wild trips, unexpected voyages, and crossings of all kinds.
WHAT: Confab MTL presents: Are We There Yet?
WHERE: La Sala Rosa, 4848 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2T 1R5
WHEN: Saturday, October 25 @ 8 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
TICKETS: VenuePilot
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company!
This edition is hosted by Vance Michel!
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
This edition is hosted by Walter Lyng! Featuring Hasher Ahmed, Charles Montgomery, Dayna Lieberman, James Mancini, Sarah Warren, Daniel Carin, Zak Kik, Vance Michel, Dawn McSweeney, and Chris Venditto.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 10 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
