McSweeney’s List (24 September 2025)
Ever get wildly hyped (positive or negative) about the small things? I'm thinking I must have this dress right now or I will die. Or, lost at a game, and the world has now officially collapsed. Up at night replaying the awkward thing you did earlier, so mortified you never want to show your face in public again.
I think it's normal. I think our brains, in the relative safety of our day to day lives, manufacture this life-or-death sense of alertness because frankly, we were built for life-or-death shit.
This was driven home for me last week, when I awoke to find that my kettle wasn't working. Well, that's a shitty twist on a morning. Admittedly, she'd had a good run; the auto-off switch is no longer as reliable as such a thing should be, so I guess it was time. While I have caffeinated Mio packets and can technically get my fix in cold form, the taste of hot coffee is what gets my motor started. The ritual of waiting before pushing down my coffee press, the smell squeezing out into the room…Ugh, it's my jam. I went into the living room and did phone things (caught up on messages, scrolled a bit), and contemplated the things I wanted to accomplish. I don't need coffee right now, I’m heading to the coffeeshop later to do some writing, I told myself. Within minutes, I was headed back to the kitchen to boil water on the stove and get this coffee brewing. That's when I noticed my stove clock was off, and I actually had no power (oh, so my kettle isn't dead yet! Yay!). At the same moment, I realized that I smelled smoke, so obviously something was on fire nearby, and they’d cut electricity as a precaution. My lot had been drawn, and the cafe was calling.
Well hot damn, as soon as I hit the street, I realized how very close the fire was. Through my parking lot and across the street, a long-abandoned building was burning like it meant it. The streets were taped off, traffic tangled as drivers took last minute turns away, their necks craning as they stared at the flames. People stood watching, some with the sense to wear masks, others (I among them) stood bare faced in the billows of acrid smoke. I struggled to tear myself away. Sure, it was probably far enough from my house that an epically fated chain of events would have to go wrong in quick order to pose me any property risk, but when those are the stakes, any odds above net zero seem extreme.
I took pictures (as everyone else did), and stood dumbly staring, worried for the firemen, worried for the building next door, worried for everything, because my animal brain was doing its job by shouting Fire! Danger! Fire! Danger!
My daughter had seen the smoke from the highway and advised me to box my cat and catch an Uber out of the hot kitchen. My cat and I have some understandings, one of which being that she does not want to be picked up, nor boxed, unless it is of utmost necessity. How long would that chase and struggle take me? How much notice would I get if the fire did rage out of control? Fire! Danger! Fire! Danger! Plus, all the places I could think of to go either had anti-social cats of their own, or giant dogs overly interested in small mammals (she just wants to taste them though; to play, I'm, uh, sure).
Ahem, my logical brain calmly interjected. You're trying to get a coffee right now; you are not a fireman, you are not helping by standing here, mouth agape, inhaling an unholy amount of smoke. I did get myself away to the coffeeshop, but didn't sit as I'd intended. Once the fire was out of site, it tripped my OCD like an unchecked stove or untouched burnt out incense stick: I could see the flames whipping across the street in my mind's eye; the frenzied dash as the buildings were evacuated, and I would not be there to save my cat, let alone my passport. I rushed back downwind, into the bad air where I could see the fire, grateful nothing had changed, but also worried that it hadn't. How long do fires take?!
I went home, firetrucks now in my parking lot, and closed my windows. Basement apartments have their perks, and I imagine I fared better than others in the smoke zone. My hair smelled though, and I wished I could shower it away -- then I immediately thought what a blessing it was to have such a petty concern amid the Fire! Danger! Fire! Danger!
I couldn't concentrate; my writing plans were out the window due to a brain outage, and my laundry day had been aborted by the power outage. I went back out to watch the fire.
By the end of it all, over 90 firemen fought that blaze for almost 9 hours. Some reports said 24 hours, and while they were probably on the scene securing the site for that long, the fight was over and the water trucks were gone long before. My power, however, after hours of blind, short term predictions on the Hydro Quebec website, had suddenly switched to a midnight return time, and I snapped. I called out of work the next day and began packing, thinking of a hot shower, creature comforts, a safe sleep in the temperature things should be with regular, fairly clean air. And as I packed, my power came back.
I turned on soooo many lights, called my boss back to say I'd be there with bells on, and happily hopped into a hot shower. Afterwards, I sat. As my wet hair dripped down my neck, I felt silly for how the whole thing had blanked out my brain and obliterated my day, but I also felt so incredibly grateful. I could sit on my couch, I could pet my cat; I had lost nothing, and I was safe. What a wonderful thing to be able to say at the end of the day in a world where random things happen. Not only did I feel blessed, but no injuries were reported from the fire, and that seems really lucky. I thought about how our brains are wired to prioritize things, and how without Fire! Danger!, it's so easy to give all that energy to pettiness, our minds elevating the unimportant to that same level, because it's all relative, and that's what our brains are actually factually wired for. I thought about how even in a world on fire, our brains automatically switch off all that noise to focus on the fire burning so close that it hurts your throat.
Oh, and while this is really all about that -- about our animal brains, about the small comforts, and the luck of it all -- I would be remiss if I didn't mention who's building it was. See, I was wondering if a landlord arsoned it for insurance, or if it had simply fallen into the disrepair that allowed this to happen because of a landlord who didn't want to fix it and would rather let it rot. But, oh no, it's better than that. The building, long-abandoned, boarded up, a local eyesore and community issue if you will, is owned by the Société d’Habitation du Québec. They took it over in 2018, and amidst our housing crisis, they, in the tradition of Quebec management, shit the whole bed into a literal dumpster fire. Kudos, guys, I should've expected no less.
CAN I GET A SUGGESTION FROM THE AUDIENCE
Le Grand Yes And! is Montreal’s festival of unscripted brilliance—a joyful celebration of improv in all its forms. From fast-paced shortform to poetic longform, musical madness to genre-hopping experiments, we bring together performers and audiences for five days of spontaneous theatre, comedy, and connection. Whether you're a lifelong improviser or totally new to the scene, you'll find something to laugh at, cheer for, and be inspired by.
Interested in taking a workshop? They have those too! Check out their schedule, say YES, AND then go to shows!
WHAT: Le Grand Yes And!
WHERE: Théâtre Comedie de Montreal, 1113 de Maisonneuve Blvd. E., Montreal, H2L 1Z6
WHEN: Multiple shows, multiple dates
METRO: Berri-UQAM
TICKETS: Tinyurl
BDAY MIC
This Eevee Open Mic is hosted by Sandra Fusco (a.k.a BoldBellaSandarella). It's her birthday, and if you know her, you know this is the perfect celebration. If you don't know her, this will still be a great time (don't worry, none of us got her anything). If you're looking for laughs, great vibes, coffee and pastries, this night is for you. If you're looking to tell jokes, this Show-Up / Sign-Up is the place: warm, welcoming and hilarious.
WHAT: Espress-o Yourself Comedy Open Mic
WHERE: Cafe Eevee, 1251 St. Zotique St. E., Montreal, H2S 1N8
WHEN: Friday, September 26, Sign-up @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
CHURCH BASEMENT GOTH (THAT TRACKS)
A night of getting together for drinks, dancing and socialising with people who love dark and alternative music!
One of the newest DARK nights in Montréal featuring 1980’s to NOW music, with a heavy focus on new, modern music! They will be playing a good amount of French language songs, and Canadian songs, especially at the beginning of the night
Goth, Post Punk, Alternative, Angsty, International, EBM, Industrial, Dark + Cold Wave, Minimal Wave, Cult 80s Hits, Dark Synth Pop, and Obscure Music.
DJ Dimitri (The Dark Eighties) and more!
Dress up! The wilder and more excitingly you dress up, the better!
WHAT: Cave of Bats at The Church: Goth, Post Punk, EBM, Dark Wave + More!
WHERE: The Church of St. John the Evangelist, 137 Avenue du President Kennedy Ave., Montreal, H2X 3P6
WHEN: Friday, September 26 @ 10 PM
METRO: Place-des-Arts (Green)
TICKETS: Buytickets
CLEAN KARMA SHOPPING
The only thing better than buying local, is buying local directly from the artisans themselves!
It's the 21th edition of Puces POP, and what better way to celebrate than shopping?! There will be about 100 creators on-site, half of whom are newcomers to the market, so you haven't even seen their stuff yet! This fall’s wide selection of offerings includes homeware, body care, and great finds for kids, not to mention clothing, gourmet snacks, and handcrafted jewelry. Start your holiday (whichever one) shopping! Buy yourself mad treats! Buying direct is always best, so make this a splurge fest.
WHAT: Puces POP
WHERE: St. Denis Catholic Church, 454A Laurier Ave. E., Montreal, H2J 1E7
WHEN: Friday, September 26, From 3:00 PM to 7 PM, Saturday, September 27, From 10 AM - 5 PM, Sunday, September 28, From 11 AM to 5 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
PASTRIES & PUNCHLINES
Dan Kestler and Claudio Capri (the Laugh Knights themselves) invite you for another fun night of stand up comedy! Dan has an insane line-up of funny people, and Claudio Capri is bringing his hosting skills! Come for the laughs, stay for the food & vibes! There is no alcohol at the venue.
Discounted tickets below, or 10$ à la porte.
Hosted by Claudio Capri, featuring Dan Kestler, Peter Bowen, Sean Carson, Charles Montgomery, Sloan Kooshan, Miguel McKenna, Bhidur Whalia, Mo Mawji, and Dayna Leiberman.
WHAT: Laugh Knights Comedy
WHERE: Cafe Eevee, 1251 St. Zotique St. E., Montreal, H2S 1N8
WHEN: Saturday, September 27 @ 8 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company! This edition is hosted by Zak Kik!
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up.
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
