McSweeney’s List (27 August 2025)
In the 1920s Mikao Usui invented (or discovered) Reiki. An energetic healing modality, what made Reiki different was that it allowed the practitioner to act as a channel for universal energy instead of tapping into their own energy, thus taking less out of the healer, and by extension, allowing for more healings. It was so simple for those who knew it, and took so little out of them, that they went on a healing spree, giving their services for free.
A strange thing happened: people who had received treatment would get sick, or hurt or sad or whatever it was all over again, returning for the same problem to be fixed. The story goes that after some consideration, Reiki practitioners began having the patients sign a contract that they would make changes in their lives to prevent re-aggrevating the condition. Oh, and they had to pay a fee now for the service, so they would regard it as valuable and less likely to want to return. Those prerequisites led to sustained health.
It doesn't matter if you don't believe in energy healing, this essay isn't about that. This is about the ways we propagate our own discomfort, complain, and refuse to change.
Accountability lost its sex appeal years ago. While it's hard to pinpoint where the degradation began, it's reasonable to say that by the 2008 economic shit show, it was done. And that's kinda fair: when things collapse and we're rendered helpless, it's hard to feel like we have any control let alone any responsibility. Globally, there's a lot going sideways all at once right now, and the limited time option for denial seems to have passed. Even if we ignore (and how can we, really?) the genocide, the wars, the economy, and the crazy fireball weather, we’re still picking up all those vibes. But we can't change any of it. From a political and environmental perspective, we’re just as much victims of the whole mess as those we wish to save. It's no surprise that logically, we can slip into believing none of our actions matter, and miserable complacency are all we have left, but the other side of the coin tells a different story.
At a time when so little is in our power, when so many previously reasonable expectations have floated out of the stratosphere, the things we can control, can change, become even more important. Not one of us can save the planet, but each of us can tend our own backyards. And more than just tending, what if each of us saw our yard as what we owe to ourselves? What if we took this small plot of land and turned it into something beautiful so that we may bask in the tangible evidence of our efforts? What if we considered how beautifying our own space would uplift those around us, and maybe even encourage them to toil in their own soil? What if we planted things that could nourish us all?
This isn't about gardens. It is about taking back power in your own life. About making efforts that satisfy you in the long run instead of dodging responsibility in the name of laziness, bitterness, or even fear.
I know a few nepo babies. Not famous ones, just some dudes (is it any surprise it's dudes?) whose respective parents keep them afloat. One works for his family, half heartedly at best. At the same time, he complains that he's under his family’s thumb. He wants the freedom of adulthood without the associated responsibilities. He knows his skill set won't make him the same amount of money elsewhere, nor would any other boss tolerate his non-existent work ethic and extensive absentee record. Pushing 40, he laments his missed developmental milestones; he wonders aloud why he doesn't have a house and a wife, as though both are things, and as though they're given out at a certain age regardless of ability. It can't be both ways: either you realistically strive for what you want, or you accept that you can't have it.
Another enabled case of failure to launch comes in the form of a guy I know who's turning 50, and still reliant on his elderly parents. He makes vague statements about why he “can't” work -- at anything, but he also hasn't qualified for any financial assistance. He's just eating his family's retirement fund while complaining that his parents boss him around the house. It's a full mind fuck. He complains loudly about the cost of food while friends pick up the tab. I've seen him pay for gas (for his parents' car) with coins he kept in a baggie. While I've never heard him express a long term goal or any driving passion, he wants his own place, enough money to stay as spoiled as he somehow is, and he wants to do nothing to earn any of it. It would be one thing if he was content with the status quo he’s created, but he spills over with dissatisfaction. Our friend group has phased him out because we simply can't justify trying to comfort a grown ass man who will make no moves to improve himself. Perhaps he's waiting for a miracle.
The Reiki story persists in our science-based world. Talking to my boss doctor the other day, we shook our heads at the number of people who want painkillers for their backs but do not want to hear that they need to build muscle, and engage their abs for lifting. They do not want to hear that good sleep, good food, and regular movement will improve everything from mental health to lowering risk of injury. They want sleeping pills, painkillers, and weight loss drugs. Fuck the side effects, fuck the studies. We have frequent fliers who regularly come in with fresh STIs, because apparently antibiotics are better than condoms. The same people who were nervous about the vaccine will shoot Ozempic into themselves, and then complain about the myriad problems caused by it. (There are currently thousands of people suing Novo Nordisk claiming that they were unaware of the potential side effects of their weight loss drugs. From where I sit at this doctor’s office, I assure you they didn't even care to listen or “do their own research”, they just wanted the magic cure.)
A couple of years ago, complaining about my relationship at the time, a dear friend told me to “change it, or quit complaining”. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. What was I waiting for? I had created this situation, written myself into it for all intents and purposes; why was I now expecting some unseen director to get me the hell out of it?! To complain without changing would be to sacrifice my own accountability to the fire of Woe Is Me, to give in, give up, and pretend to have no control over the bed I had not only made but continued to make every day until I chose differently. I was the only one who could change my circumstances, and that was empowering.
A year later, I told my friend how much his advice (statement?) had shifted my path. He didn't remember saying it, but that didn't detract from the impact the rock of those words had on the stagnant pond of my mind. I'd made changes, and my life was reflecting the person I’d grown into paving the way for the future I wanted.
There's a quaint adage about a guy who tells a farmer that his dog is sitting on a nail. The farmer, probably with a piece of straw in his mouth and hands in his pockets, looks over at the dog, and shrugs. “When it bothers him enough, he’ll move.” And it's true; it's what every animal would do…except humans. Only humans will sit on the nail, perfectly still, wailing about the nail. Only humans will create a social media footprint about how much the nail hurts while committing to the nail. Only humans will make the pain of the nail their whole personality while crying that the nail has done them dirty.
Stand up, Dear Reader. Get off the nail, out of the rut, and into your best future. No one else will get you there, it's all in your hands. Which pretty much makes you a superhero, so stop denying your power, and get your shit in gear.
STREET FEST
The BLVD Festival is back for its 8th edition!
Get your walking shoes on, and hit The Main for a weekend of food, shopping, and all-ages events! Mini-putt! Face painting! A freaking corgi parade! There's a dance party, skaters doing some slick shitand epic people watching! Head on down this weekend to see what’s up, or check their Facebook page for the schedule. It's the last street fair of the ‘25 season, so be there with bells on!
WHAT: BLVD Fest
WHERE: St. Laurent Blvd., between Mont Royal & Sherbrooke
WHEN: Thursday, August 28, from 5 PM through Sunday, August 31, until 10 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke/Mont-Royal (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
UNTIL SUNRISE
It's a Free Techno season finale, and it's gonna be groovy! Join ALIK2, BUYMEFLOVVERS B2B UCANQUIT, JIIMI, KARSCHER, NAMANARIII, SARAH KAY, and VJ Esur for an all night party! Full bar to keep you high and hydrated, and a new AC system so you can dance your face right off till the sun comes up.
WHAT: Free Techno: Lanorth // 29.08 - Season Finale
WHERE: ESC, 2023 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2X 2T3
WHEN: Friday August 29 @ 9 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
SATURDAY SPOOKIES
Haunted Mountain is a spooky, lantern-lit Ghost Walk up the slopes of Mount Royal visiting various haunted sites on the mountain run by Haunted Montreal.
A theatrical guide (a professional actor and storyteller) will regale guests with ghost stories, mysteries and legends about Mount Royal, including haunted hospitals, abandoned castles, cemeteries teeming with undead spirits, and all sorts of paranormal activities on the mountain. Visitors will learn about the place of Mount Royal in Montreal’s history and lore, including the legend of the cross, the ghost of l’Esplanade Street, the child-victims of the Alan Memorial Institute’s brainwashing experiments, and the tragic tale of Jack McLean and the Haunted Funicular.
Guests will also visit Simon McTavish’s forgotten tomb, recently disturbed by archaeologists digging into the mountain where his earthly remains lie. The angry fur baron’s ghost is known to terrify people – by tobogganing at high speeds down the slopes of the mountain – in his own coffin!
Haunted Mountain aims to satisfy a taste for local history, spine-tingling ghost stories and an unforgettable ramble on the slopes of Mount Royal! Sturdy shoes and a flashlight are recommended. The Haunted Mountain Ghost Walk begins at Place Fletcher's Field. Guests are advised to wear sturdy walking shoes and to bring a flashlight and a camera. The tour is approximately 90 minutes and finishes at the top of Peel Street and Pine Avenue.
WHAT: Haunted Mountain
WHERE: Fletcher's Field, 3724 Parc Ave., Montreal, H2X 2J1
WHEN: Saturday, August 30 @ 830 PM
METRO: Mont-Royal (Orange)
TICKETS: Their link is glitching on the date, but they're super nice, so drop them a line and don't miss this!
GET CRAFTY!
It's a park crafternoon (weather permitting)! Come work on a crafty project, while socializing with fellow crafters!
Bring a chair, a blanket, snacks, whatever you dig! Let the crafty community vibes inspire you!
WHAT: August Crafternoon in the Park!
WHERE: Parc Royaux, 2185 de Lorimier Ave., Montreal, H2K 3X1
WHEN: Saturday, August 30 @ 5 PM
METRO: Frontenac (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
TUNE TIME
An evening of 80s-tinged music, from The Mirror's synth-driven New-Wave pop to the scorching guitars of Groupe B, and Martin Saint's dark and moody crooning! Check out our Feature Friday on Martin Saint!
WHAT: Groupe B + Martin Saint (Full Band) + The Mirrors
WHERE: Casa Del Popolo, 4871 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2T 1R6
WHEN: Wednesday, September 3 @ 7 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this, week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Put your knowledge to the test! Whether you're a history buff, a pop culture guru, or a sports fanatic, there's something for everyone. Grab a pint, enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company. Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises! Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the best uncensored open mic in town. Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up!
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
