McSweeney’s List (23 July 2025)
Recently, my timeline was hit with memes about how teasing is part of the glue that holds our relationships together. The tagline said a recent study proved that good natured ribbing can increase loyalty and honesty in relationships by 300%. The source of the study? Well, there doesn't appear to be one, so we can probably toss the number. Luckily, this phenomenon has been contemplated for years, so studies do exist, and if you take a moment to consider your own social network, you can probably figure this out for yourself.
Let's start with the concept of teasing. Besides the fact that we know it's fun to yank our loved ones chains, we can see how natural it is by watching animals play fight. But that isn't enough to satisfy the overthinking brain, so I did some reading (articles that existed before the 300% meme), and found some well articulated points.
One thing that kept coming up was that teasing indicated being “in with the group”. There's an Us and Them line drawn in the sand when we notice who can make fun of who, and to what extent. A group can be full on roasting one of their friends, but one outsider says one wrong word, and they will all turn on him. Teasing requires a level of closeness, trust, and intimacy. As soon as someone crosses that space prematurely, or before their intentions can be understood, the intruder will be ostracized or eaten. (Oh, in my head we’re still watching a nature documentary, and it's humans as animals.)
This explains what I saw at The Heckling Show. As the name suggests, comedians do comedy, and the audience does heckles. But I noticed that a couple of people elicited silence, which considering the format, was deafening and confusing. In hindsight, it makes more sense: they weren't tightly in the community. A couple of the people who got silence genuinely bombed, and without an existing framework of friendship, anything that could've been said would've lacked the good natured part, and simply been an insult. Another was a respected comedian who simply wasn't close enough to anyone there for it to feel safe. It felt more like a test, one where we collectively froze up, proving that it's not only the receiving, but also the dishing out that calls for a level of intimacy.
A friend recently let me know that I had poked a soft spot in front of people, and he wished that I hadn't. See, being aware of where the vulnerable bits lie and being comfortable enough to tickle them is another fun feature on this whole thing. It's our super subtle indicator that we know the person so well, we see their shortcomings and goofy parts, and still love them. I see you; I know you; I accept and appreciate you as you are. But in front of social outsiders, it's the equivalent of loudly saying where you hid your house key. I hadn't thought of it that way, but dammit if that doesn't make so much sense.
Another concept that kept coming up was that teasing helps to tame arrogance (or poke holes in fragile egos. The details really matter when splitting that hair.) This is another example of animal behavior, as the aforementioned play fight scenario might end in a genuine battle of egos, one triumphing over the other, showing that he could hurt him if he wanted to. As modern humans, we endeavor to avoid letting things get that far. If you think public transit’s complicated now, imagine the delays that would be caused if people had to get into feats of physical virility every time we wanted to check someone. It's much more efficient that we learned to be verbally shady. Poking holes in arrogance serves multiple functions. First, no one enjoys arrogance (except maybe the arrogant), so teasing helps to remind people that it's unwelcome; the ol' take ‘em down a few notches. As part of a deeper function, it allows for intimacy to bloom. You can't form bonds while fronting as the biggest dog at the pound. (Still a nature doc, only now, lonely, wandering humans have been scooped up and brought to a Human Shelter.)
The day I met Andrew Jamieson, he said something very lofty and articulate about his artistic practice (because of course he did). I liked his vibe, but am generally put off by so many academic terms in one sentence, so I asked him how many schools it took him to teach him that shit. He answered without missing a beat, and I knew my Vibe Radar was accurate. A ton of people would've been offended by the way I asked, and that's why they aren't my friends. Andrew and I were able to shake off the pretense, and begin diving deeper; you can't do that if arrogance is in the way.
Sometimes though, you turn around and find that teasing is hiding the void of where friendship once was. For years I had a dear friend, and we teased each other relentlessly. Our ability to discuss real, deep shit made the jokes a welcome reprieve, a way to escape into easy laughs. Over time, we drifted. We had fewer serious conversations, avoided mentioning our weaknesses and fears, and as a result, we were left in a perpetual roast battle loop. It was no longer a part of our friendship, but the last vestiges we were both clinging to. We grew differently, and away from each other, and when we would hang out, the teasing seemed adversarial; a tone of resentment echoed in the background. It became the light shining on how distant we had become; it was icing without the cake, just a mess, and one that still left you hungry. It stands as a reminder that ribbing is part of a healthy relationship, and cannot be the star of it.
I'm not recommending that you go call your partner fat. That's uh, not gonna work. I do suggest that you consider your closest relations. Do they feel comfortable teasing you? Does your ego lash out? Do you find yourself holding your tongue and walking on eggshells with some people? I think you’ll find some interesting trends, and maybe even learn about how you form bonds.
And if you determine that teasing improves your relationships by 300%, just say that, and don't cite a non-existing study; it’ll save us nerds some leg work.
An Electric Mix
Turko-Balkan Kolektif and MerveMelodia kick off the night with a dynamic live band performance, blending the vibrant musical traditions of Turkey and the Balkans. Get ready for powerful vocals, infectious grooves, and songs that celebrate culture, movement, and togetherness!
Then the party takes off with DJ Ahmet, spinning an electric mix of Turkish, Balkan, and Romani beats that will keep you dancing till late!
This isn’t your average night out — it’s full of rhythm, connection, and joy. No sitting, no holding back!
WHAT: 9/8 Fever: Turkish Balkan Dance Party
WHERE: Kawalees, 5175A Park Ave., Montreal, H2V 4G3
WHEN: Friday, July 26 @ 830 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Books!
Join Dick's Lending Library and Sheer Spite Press for a book and zine swap! Bring zines you made, stuff you've already read, or just bring your own fab self! It's a great way to pass your books on to good homes, pick up some new faves, and meet other bookworms! The books will be sorted by genre, so you can beeline for the subjects that bring you joy.
WHAT: Montreal Queer & Trans Book & Zine Swap
WHERE: Lafontaine Park, Southeast corner near Sherbrooke / Papineau
WHEN: Saturday, July 26, 2 PM - 5 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
DETAILS: Instagram
Dinner and a Show
I assure you that while I've seen my share of comedy mics, I've never been to an all you can eat one, let alone all you can eat delicious Caribbean food. This Sunday, Caribbean Food Factory serves up giggles and goodies for a night you won't soon forget. (Other tag options included jokes and jerk, comedy and curry, chicken and chuckles.)
WHAT: All You Can Eat Sundays
WHERE: Caribbean Food Factory, 5311 Maisonneuve Blvd. W., Montreal, H4A 1Z5
WHEN: Sunday, July 27, 7 PM - 9 PM
METRO: Vendôme (Orange)
TICKETS: TicketGateway
Old School
Montreal's favorite old-school party is hitting the patio for a special summer edition! It's all about dancing, singing and sunshine, just like Back in the Day. The open-air terrasse is stunning, and the vibes will be pristine, with golden hour, good people, cold drinks, and all your favourite 90s and 2000s jams!
Whether it’s the girls hyping each other up to Destiny’s Child, the boys reciting the lyrics to Lose Yourself like it’s 2002 again, or couples vibing to That’s the Way Love Goes like nobody’s watching, this is for you.
If you were there at Orchid, Jet, Tonic, Tokyo, or Polly Esther’s, this is your moment to relive it all.
We’re running back the soundtrack to your teenage summers, college days, and club nights: Aaliyah, Ja Rule, 50, Ashanti, Missy, JT, SWV, TLC, Fat Joe, Brandy, Luda, Mya, Biggie, Bey, you already know the rest.
So call up the crew, throw on your best fit, and let’s relive the memories!
Music by Keith Dean & Chops Wunda.
WHAT: Back in the Day Summer Jam
WHERE: Yoko Luna, 1234 de la Montagne, Montreal, H3G 1Z1
WHEN: Sunday, July 27, 5 PM - 10 PM
METRO: Peel (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Let It Out
This show is a rare bird. It's a monthly comedy show where heckling is the name of the game! Bring your pent up rage, the insult you couldn't use on your boss, and leave your qualms at the door. Host Saanya Nanda's been on our Feature Friday, and I recently chatted with her about The Heckling Show here. While that’ll give you a real feel for what's going on there, nothing beats experiencing it for yourself, so you should totally go.
WHAT: The Heckling Show
WHERE: Pub St. Paul, 124 Rue St. Paul E., Montreal, H2Y 1G6
WHEN: Sunday, July 27 @ 830 PM
METRO: Champ-de-Mars (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Give It To Me Straight
The Straight Shooters Stand-Up Comedy Show is back! Live at Tequila Bar, the mic features, and is produced by, graduates of the Joke Club comedy course.
Come early, enjoy an amazing meal, and then watch the city's best up-and-coming stand-up comedians for a hilarious night!
Free shot with every ticket!!!
Featuring Julie Santini, Milly Bridges, Zack Knox, Heidi Lynne Weeks, James Mancini, David Heti, Thomas Barnwell, JP, Mariam Khan, Rodney Ramsey, and special guests!
WHAT: The Straight Shooters Stand-Up Comedy Show
WHERE: Le Tequila Bar, 4401 Rue Notre-Dame St. W., Montreal, H4C 1S2
WHEN: Tuesday, July 29 @ 8 PM
METRO: Place-Saint-Henri (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
take your words to the next level
Creative writers and poets, this one is for you! The Elevate Your Words: Literary Performance Workshop is a 5-hour intensive workshop designed to transform your creative writing from page to captivating stage presence, taking place at Parc Jeanne Mance. This workshop is led by Andrew Jamieson, an interdisciplinary artist with extensive experience as an actor, dancer, singer, comedian, director, and spoken word performer (and Creative Director of Forget The Box). Jamieson introduces his unique Practical Integration Method (PIM), which he began developing in 2018. PIM is deeply rooted in his personal philosophy that authentic self-awareness and embodied expression are fundamental to communication. Adapting PIM's core principles for creative writers of all genres and experience levels, this workshop equips you with tools to confidently connect with your written work, banish nerves, find your authentic voice, and master your physicality. Through experiential, hands-on exercises in a supportive, non-judgmental environment, participants will learn to integrate mind, body, and voice for grounded, truthful, and utterly captivating readings. This empowering experience is offered for $40, reflecting the belief that artistic training shouldn’t be a luxury.
WHAT: Elevate Your Words: Literary Performance Workshop
INFO & REGISTRATION: whothefuckisandrewjamieson.com
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company! Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Femme-tastic!
Funny ladies take center stage this week for Femmes Night! Enjoy brassy broads, classy cacklers, and the funniest femmes in town!
Hosted by Abby Stonehouse, this edition will feature Carmina Berbari Daou, Monica Hamburg, Florence Penicaud, Shosho Abotouk, Adrienne Roy, Eugenie Nothomb, Julie Santini, and Sarah Warren.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night Femmes Edition
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Monday, July 28, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up. The show is now capped at 15 sign-ups, so be there early!
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
