McSweeney’s List (16 July 2025)
Shadow work always sounded like powerful magic to me. Like a psychedelic fever dream where you sit and converse with your worst self, the devil on your shoulder embodied, ugly and uncensored. I pictured it as a risky opening of portals where the struggle for control of this human form plays out, probably a battle in which one of you must die.
Looking into this further was on my To Do List, but kept getting bumped. Today I learned that our galaxy might be inside a “cosmic void”. Now, while I didn't read the whole article (and barely understood what I did read), this is the kind of thing that sidetracks me. Plus, I'm in the middle of multiple online courses (more accurately signed up and barely started), and I'm building very important Legos, so odds are, Shadow Work was never going to get to the top of the list.
But Y’all, I just found out I've been doing shadow work. Apparently you don't need a whole sit down with your Shadow, and you can definitely avoid the fight to the death. For the record, the scene would've been great: my thugged out Shadow pounding beers and chain smoking, telling me nothing matters and we’re all gonna die, and my best, sunniest self smiling brightly, conceding that I know this, but joyfully. Light starts radiating from my body, maybe I float a little. The powerful, soothing glow reaches my shadow, transforming it, healing it, uniting all aspects of self into one balanced, multifaceted whole.
But there was none of that. Instead, I just made a series of conscious choices over years, and things unfolded quite naturally. Less dramatic, certainly, but equally effective.
My depression entered the chat in my early years. While I was generally happy, I was plagued by thoughts of death, endings, and the fact that the things I see, think, and feel are subjective gems that will simply vanish when I die. Sounds like a sham to me. When pets died, I was inconsolable (yes, even for the fish). When I moved to a new school, it felt like a small death; my friends and everything I'd known were torn away from me. I legit moved from NDG to the West Island, but it might as well have been another planet. I was miserable as each day brought me closer to my goodbyes. I craved permanence in a world that had none to offer. I cried for the ozone layer, I sobbed for the murdered elephants, their headless bodies in full colour in a WWF magazine asking for money. I couldn't understand how everyone was just going through their lives aware of the contradictions and their own eventual demise. When I started doing things like falling in love, my heart would break because in the best-case scenario, I would watch this person get old and die. Or I would see my beloved crying over me, assuring me that I could let go and dive into the deep sleep, even though neither of us wanted to part ways. That line of thinking hit me at 15, and to be honest, I don't think there's a cure for it. That one is an unforgivable design flaw, and I would like to speak to someone's manager about it.
But at some point, I began to use my depressive perspective to my benefit. I realized that if I was agonized by the idea of fleeting moments and permanent endings, I had to enjoy them. I had to enjoy them because they were only here now, and would never be exactly the same again. Events were as individual as fingerprints; whether fun or tedious, each was a river I could never step into again, and the only thing to do was be fully present. A kind, older psychiatrist once smiled at me, her eyes twinkling with understanding. “These are the things philosophers and poets have always had to deal with,” she said. I admit I was flattered to be among the philosophers and poets. Existential dread is a shitty boat, but good company does make it better. And as myself and some of those famous dead guys (shout out to the living ones who are not yet dead enough to be truly famous) found, on the other side of Existential Dread, is Existential Euphoria.
When you're afraid of endings, you must learn to be fully in the story. When you're afraid of death, you must make every effort to live. The persistent, intrusive thoughts about my inescapable demise grant me the gift of perspective: will I think of this on my deathbed? (If not, it's not that important, is it?) What will I wish I could do one more time? (Do it now, right now, and if there's time after that, do it again.) Will I wish I spent my energy differently? (Dance till you collapse. Love like the world will explode tonight. Bigger. Louder. Make it weird.)
The darkest, scariest parts of myself are the same parts that lift me to new heights, and that Dear Reader, is goddamn Shadow Work. While I am disappointed that I didn't meet myself one day in a coffee shop and have some tense, well directed scene about it (one where the colours get all saturated, and the others in the coffeeshop are wholly unaware of the poignant tug of war I'm in), the slow boil is serving me beautifully.
Waiting for the bus the other day, I saw a groundhog. I wanted to take a picture, but they never come out right, and never ever capture the energy of snuggly things or small miracles. Knowing that, I just watched it. I watched it munch grass, stroke his little chin, and lay on his belly in the shaded grass. I thought about how fleeting and forgettable the moment was; how it couldn’t be properly shared, how it would disappear into the mess of “important “ things my brain tries to hold. And even if I remembered forever, this moment would die with me. I'm aware that's it's just a fucking groundhog, but this is the true and reflexive nature of my mind. I watched long enough that a young woman on her way to the same bus stopped and watched the groundhog too. We were suddenly at an urban zoo, watching nature do its thing through a fence as though humans were here first, as if groundhogs were brought here for our entertainment. It was a super weird moment, but a lovely one.
She finally stepped closer and took a picture of the little guy through the bars. I hope it turned out, and that it captured the wonder she felt right then well enough to share with others. Or that she learns there's no point to trying to get the shot, and to just be there, for as long as it lasts, because that's all we can really take with us in the end.
Follow that rabbit!
You’re cordially invited down the rabbit hole for a magical midsummer evening of sweet delights, plant potions, and divinatory delights!
It's the Frigo Fest Tea Party & Bake Sale, a whimsical fundraiser supporting Le Frigo Vert’s programming, relocation, and collective vision. Sip, snack, and spell-cast your way through the night with:
- A cozy & eclectic bake sale
- Astrology & tarot readings
- Herbal cocktails & mocktails
- Refreshing iced herbal teas
- And other dreamy offerings !
Dress up, come as you are, bring your friends and your curiosity—this is a come-and-go-as-you-please event with all proceeds going to help sustain and grow our radical community space.
Want to donate baked goods? We welcome your culinary magic! Email us at yesfrigo@gmail.com to get involved.
The tea is steeping, the stars are aligning—see you there.
WHAT: Frigo Fest Tea Party & Bale Sale
WHERE: Le Frigo Vert, 1440 Mackay St., Montreal, H3G 2H7
WHEN: Friday, July 18 @ 6 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
Follow the little green dude!
JFL is back! Besides all the visiting voices, there’s a Montreal series showcasing the city’s best comedians! I'm not going to tell you about all of them, just the one I've got tickets to, because I'm pretty stoked for it, and it's guaranteed to be hilarious.
Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall hosts a killer lineup featuring Arthur Sim Jr., Olivia Benaroche, Claudine Napoleon, Raajiie Chelliah, and George Assily. If you're already familiar with these folks, you know it’ll be a great show. If you don't know these hilarious humans yet, now’s the time to get on board.
See you there!
WHAT: The Montreal Series: Stand-Up
WHERE: Théâtre Sainte-Catherine, 264 St. Catherine St. E., Montreal, H2X 1L4
WHEN: Friday, July 18 @ 10 PM
METRO: Berri-UQAM
TICKETS: BilletsHahaha
Follow the goths!
Artists and Artisans bring out their dark, weird, and beautiful wares! 25 artists, 2 days, a million reasons to start shopping!
This event is free to attend, but contributions are appreciated. We also have Merch and Maleficarum Bags you can purchase to follow you along your maleficarum market adventures!
Both days will have Goody Gift Bags for the first 20 visitors!
Special treats:
Le Saint-Motel Photo Studio - 15$ for 30 minutes - NEW Gothic Castle, updated 70s room and Cowboy Sets
Goody Gift Bag with Purchases over 300$ at the Goth Shop MTL
We pay the Taxes on Inchoo Bijoux Jewelry!
Flash Tattoos
Siboire Samples
Check out Haunted Montreal for their Ghost Tours!
WHAT: Maleficarum MTL – Pastel Goth Edition 2025
WHERE: Le Saint Motel, 4000 St. Ambroise St., Suite 278 in Montreal
WHEN: Saturday, July 19 & Sunday, July 20, From 11 AM to 6 PM
METRO: Place Saint Henri (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
G-G-G-GHOSTS!
Haunted Mountain is a spooky, lantern-lit Ghost Walk up the slopes of Mount Royal. Beginning in Montreal’s Plateau neighborhood, the ramble visits various haunted sites on the mountain, including several locations where ghosts have actually been sighted.
A theatrical guide (a professional actor and storyteller) will regale guests with ghost stories, mysteries and legends about Mount Royal, including haunted hospitals, abandoned castles, cemeteries teeming with undead spirits, and all sorts of paranormal activities on the mountain. Visitors will learn about the place of Mount Royal in Montreal’s history and lore, including the legend of the cross, the ghost of l’Esplanade Street, the child-victims of the Alan Memorial Institute’s brainwashing experiments, and the tragic tale of Jack McLean and the Haunted Funicular.
Guests will also visit Simon McTavish’s forgotten tomb, recently disturbed by archaeologists digging into the mountain where his earthly remains lie. The angry fur baron’s ghost is known to terrify people – by tobogganing at high speeds down the slopes of the mountain – in his own coffin!
The tour is approximately 90 minutes, ending at Peel Street corner Pine Avenue. Good walking shoes and a flashlight are recommended.
WHAT: Haunted Mountain
WHERE: Starts at Fletcher's Field, Ends at Peel / Pine
WHEN: Saturday, July 19 @ 830 PM
METRO: Mont-Royal (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Reality, live!
Montreal’s hottest (and only) improvised dating reality show takes the stage! In Love on the Spot six sexy singles (played by some of the city’s best/sexiest improvisers) will compete to see who will find love on the spot, and who will be left out to rot as they all fight to find true love in the best way anyone knows how: by going on a reality show hosted by a shit-stirring air purifier.
Get ready for a night of awkward flirting, teary cat fights, and lots and lots of laughter!
$10 in advance, $12 at the door
Montreal Improv students: $8 in advance, $10 at the door
WHAT: Love on the Spot
WHERE: Montreal Improv, 3716 Notre Dame St. W., Montreal, H4C 1P7
WHEN: Saturday, July 19 @ 8 PM
METRO: Place Saint Henri (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Comedy with a DJ!
Funny lady Celine “Ceecee” Huseynova hosts the newest comedy show in town, and of course it's funny, but it's also an aesthetic trip. Tucked in the basement of the upscale Heni Restaurant, is a gem of a spot called Salon Badin. It's got modern speakeasy vibes, with the faint hint of 70s nostalgia. Dark wood, giant exposed speakers, candlelight, and a live DJ create a mashup of times that never existed but we all have nostalgia for, making it a very now decor. It's a cocktail bar with limited, but options, so don't try to order a beer (or a soda for that matter). Overall, this is the first place you can do a comedy date night that really feels like a date. Their bathroom area is selfie ready, so make an outfit.
Oh, and the folks are funny af, duh. Each week, Ceecee hosts a cream of the crop lineup. This Tuesday, July 22 will feature Hadi Kubba, Joanna Selvarajah, Joel Slavic, Jason Yearow, Vance Michel, Aloe Azimov, and George Assily, and maybe a couple of surprises!
WHAT: The Daddles Comedy Lounge
WHERE: Salon Badin, 2613 Notre Dame St. W, Montreal, Quebec H3J 1N9
WHEN: Every Tuesday @ 830 PM
METRO: Lionel-Groulx
DETAILS: Eventbrite
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company! Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
West Side Representation
Thursday, head West for more killer comedy!
Get ready to laugh your socks off at Rustik Pub & Grill with Cheap Laughs!
Montreal's most talented comedians and touring pros hit the stage at the legendary local haunt, Rustik. Make your East-side friends come to your part of town for a change, or come explore the NDG for yourself! It's a chill and hilarious night every time.
This week, they're once again giving you top shelf comedy at rock bottom prices! Join Walter Lyng, Troy Stark, Abby Stonehouse, Miguel McKenna, Adam Babin, Paul Baluyot Joel Slavik, Steve Patrick Adams, and David Hero for a killer night.
WHAT: Cheap Laughs at Rustik Pub
WHERE: Rustik Pub & Grill, 5621 Sherbrooke St. W., Montreal, H4A 1W4
WHEN: Thursday, July 17, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Vendôme (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up. The show is now capped at 15 sign-ups, so be there early!
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
