While it should go without saying, allow me to open this essay by clarifying that I am not a doctor. I do have a correspondence school diploma in Adult Psychology, an expensive piece of paper I was really proud to get, and Concordia says can get me out of Psych101. I've also been to more therapy than the average person, and have enough mental illnesses, trauma, and poor role models that doing as well as I am in life seems pretty impressive. Today, I want to talk about depression.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder in my mid-30s. It's just clinical depression (hahahah just) by a different name, but when I heard major, I took it seriously. It confirmed that this was not just some fa-la-la bump in the road, and while it was definitely in my head, it wasn't my imagination. “So,” they said “there's over a 90% chance this will happen again. You can take some pills to prevent it.” So, I took the pills, because I didn't want it to happen again. Looking back, had it happened before? Absolutely. Despite my brightsiding and laughter, penchant for cartoons and colours, I carry hella darkness. It took me a while to realize that they’re inextricably linked: I use the good things to distract me from the bad, but also, I'm so in love with how beautiful things are, that my heart is chronically broken. A core memory finds me sobbing at 10 years old to my healthy mother about how one day she would die, and I couldn't handle that knowledge and future sadness. To her credit, she didn't slip into sentimentality with me. She simply said that it would be very long from then, and I would be much older, with a family of my own, and it wouldn't hit the way I predicted. Thirty-ish years later, I found out she was right.

Anti-depressants (and psych meds in general, really) are often compared to a cast for a broken bone. Granted, some mental glitches or brain trips are temporary, and the analogy is apt. But for me, the meds are more like a cane. They give me the support to keep walking, and some days it's easier than others. While the symptoms still swirl, and sometimes they gang up and form a scary depression monster, the monster doesn't get as big, and takes his leave relatively quickly. Yes, I even made lifestyle changes and got off my meds for a time, thinking myself healed. I made it about 2 years before the monster came back large and in charge. Now I just take the damn pills.

Beyond pharmaceuticals, there are of course things that improve matters. (Things that fall out of my capacity when I'm in the grips of a serious bout of depression.) It's fair to say that when I'm in the darkness, any semblance of light appears to be an illusion. Every positive word sounds like sugar coating the miserable truth. Right then, medication sounds like a brain altering drug invented to get us on the hamster wheel to fulfil our roles as cogs in the capitalist machine. If that's where you are, nothing I say will hit right now. If you’re slightly less miserable, some of these tips might help. If you're having a great day, tuck these tips away for when you need them. I've been losing and rediscovering these things for years, so don't be surprised if they slip away and come back.

Focus on What You Can Control.

Yes, Darlings, the world is on fire, and it will keep burning. Yes, we are all dying slowly, but we're here right now. You aren't changing these things, so stop trying. This is the “make your bed” tip. No, I don't make my bed, but I understand the concept, and do other small things. What do you have the power to change for yourself today? Maybe you feel shitty, and unfit for human consumption, and cleaning your house sounds like an impossible feat. Clean a table. Do the laundry. Do one thing that seems manageable. Maybe you feel lonely, or unloved; take a look at your support system. Are they letting you down, or are you not opening up to those available? Maybe you have a bunch of acquaintances on hand but not true friends, and that can trigger questions about why. Maybe it's time to upgrade your life, and these are growing pains. If your job/relationship/habits are making you miserable, you have the choice to deal with it as soon as you see it, or kick the can down the road. Should you choose to kick it, know that you're on a casual trip to rock bottom, and it will keep getting worse until you change circumstances.

Put Boundaries On Your Misery

This is one of my favorite pieces of advice I received from a therapist. Set an alarm for an hour or two, and let your dark feelings rip. Cry like the world is ending. Beat your chest in the throes of your primal pain. If you're angry, write a letter to the target of your ire: stab your pen through the page, call them all the names, spit on it, whatever feels right. Curse God. Then, when the timer sounds, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go outside. Oh, never send that letter, by the way. Tuck it out of sight, or burn it if you're in the mood for ritual.

Drown It Out

Doom scrolling is not the distraction you're looking for. Studies have shown time and again that it will make you more miserable. Whether it's the neverending news, or comparing ourselves to the highly edited versions of other people, nothing good is hiding at the end of social media. It makes us feel lonely, unworthy, and there's no end to the depths of its depravity. So, stop that. Put on music that you can’t help but bop to, or some heavy ass tunes so loud that you can't hear yourself think. Sing ballads that make you cry. Get back into your body with movement and voice. Sadness is so much stagnation, and I find myself shrinking. Expand however you can. Take up space. Breathe deeply.

Dissatisfaction Is Hope

If part of your sadness comes from a sense that you or your circumstances should be different, you're off to a banging start. See, if you can envision something better, you haven't given up hope, you just wish you were already there. What's the repetitive loop in your head? Is it that you're shitty? They're shitty? The depressed mind deals in wholesale lies, but every now and then, it offers insight. There have been times when I’ve felt dark, certain that the sky was falling and all was beyond hope, and something in my circumstances would change: job, or living arrangement, or friend circle, and the clouds would break. If you can see where things could be better, you actually have some control over improving matters. You might not believe me, but if you look back at how you got here, you’ll certainly notice how you've taken initiative and made changes in the past. You've got this. This is only one moment along your journey.

The Basics

Obviously if you're feeling super blue, reach out. Consult with a doctor (811 can get you appointments at clinics in short order, and the Douglas has its own ER if you're in crisis). Be honest with those closest to you. If meds help, take them. They aren't magic, so you still get that sexy stoic suffering (if you're into that), but you might actually take a shower and stop crying. Remember that this too shall pass. In fact, it’ll pass so entirely that when you aren't depressed, it will all seem like a bad dream, and you might think it’ll never happen again.

Save this for then.

If you or if someone you love is thinking or talking about suicide, and you are worried for your/their safety, call or text Canada’s new mental health hotline 988. Additionally, if you are in Montreal, you can also visit SPCM’s website for alternative communication methods and other resources. For acute emergencies, call 911 or go to your local hospital.

Do you like to laugh? Do you like to eat?

Experience a one-of-a-kind night at FemmeNOMNOM, taking place at the beautiful Poubelle Magnifique on Crescent Street in MTL! Chef Fiona Genevieve of Molotov Cuisine curates a five-course tasting journey, each dish a tribute to the strength and complexity of the femme spirit in all its diverse expressions. This culinary experience is paired with a knockout comedy show, featuring five of Montreal's funniest femme comics and hosted by the dynamic Abby Stonehouse. Expect bold flavors, fearless humor, and a vibrant celebration of femme expression in this unique downtown setting.

Get your tickets now! They’re selling fast - DO NOT WAIT!

A professionally trained chef, Fiona Genevieve is very passionate about cooking with local & foraged ingredients with a fascination with fermentation. Growing up in Ukraine & China, Chef Fiona brings inspiration and a fusion of cultures to her dishes. Creating unique and engaging cuisine served with a fresh artistic vibe. While Chef Fiona has always called Quebec home, her deep Nova Scotian roots took her back to the Annapolis Valley in 2021, where she established Molotov Cuisine. Working with local farmers, Molotov Cuisine creates one of a kind dining experiences with combative zero-waste menus focusing on sustainability & local ingredients.

LINEUP
Hosted by Abby Stonehouse
Featuring: Mariam Khan, Raajiee Chelliah, Dawn McSweeney, and Tina Cruz.

TICKETS
$55 - Five Course Tasting

www.showpass.com/femmenomnom

WHAT: FemmeNOMNOM: Five-Course Tasting and Comedy Event

WHERE: Poubelle Magnifique, 1221 Crescent Street, Montreal QC, H3B2G1

WHEN: Friday, May 2 @ 8PM

METRO: Peel (Green)

TICKETS: Showpass

Can I Get A Suggestion From The Audience?

Montreal Sketchfest is here! Get in on the fun from the start, and kick off the festival with the opening ceremonies!

Opening night opens with a bang, featuring international troupes!

Sproink & Oink is a local Montreal sketch group that consistently produces hilarious shows. You will laugh, you will cry. You will be moved by iconic characters such as "French Baby." What else is there to say except Sproink & Oink. Sproink & Oink. Sproink & Oink.

Jonah Border is one of the four founding members of Tandem Jump, Montreal’s premiere monthly sketch comedy show. Now come watch him perform solo comedy for only the second time in his short, short life (I just have a kind of hunch that he’ll die young). If you are a fan of Norm Macdonald, Larry David, or Tim Robinson, well then please come but jsyk it won’t be as good as that.

Rakhee Morzaria is a multi-award-nominated comedic actor, lead on hit Hulu comedy, Run the Burbs, with filmmaking showcased in Kevin Hart’s Just for Laughs short film competition, and digital series, Note to Self, nominated for a Canadian Screen Award. As seen on What We Do in the Shadows (FX), and My Spy (Netflix), and voice on animated series Summer Memories (Roku).

Jackie & Allison are a two-woman comedy group made up of Jackie Skinner and Allison Villaseñor that originated in Brooklyn, NY. Two best friends who perform clown, sketch, and improv together all around the USA. Their latest show, Jackie & Allison Into the Multiverse, has been an official selection for Austin Sketch Fest 2024, Sketchfest Seattle 2024, NYC Sketchfest 2024, Big Gator Comedy Festival 2024, TOsketchfest 2025, DC Sketch Fest 2025, New York City Fringe 2025, and Boston Fringe 2025.

WHAT: MTL Sketchfest 2025 - Opening Night featuring Sproink & Oink, Jonah Border, Rakhee Morzaria, Jackie & Allison

WHERE: Théâtre Sainte Catherine Café-Bar, 264 Ste. Catherine St. E., Montreal, H2X 1L4

WHEN: Thursday, May 1 @ 8 PM

METRO: Berri-UQAM

DETAILS: ThePointOfSale

More Sketches!

Catch Self-Care Clown, Potato Potato, and Small Tall Friend Tall Friend!

Self Care Clown is a sketch that took 14 years to live and grow first before writing: a clown experiences heartbreak at the beginning of young adulthood, and must go back to heal their past selves through clowning, dance, stand-up comedy, and storytelling. Comedian and Storyteller Aloe Azimov helps out.

Your favourite tater tots are back to weaponize their theatre degrees with another song-filled sketch revue about politics, climate change, and the hilariously apocalyptic state of the world. In a world obsessed with the US, Potato Potato is here to throw light (and shade) on the Canadian side of the story. Part political satire, part sketch show, and with a generous dose of dread- prepare for recycled props, catchy musical parodies, and surprise visits from your (least) favourite politicians.

Small Friend Tall Friend is a dynamic sketch-comedy group founded by Becky Ablack and Zoe Marín. Known for their sharp wit and playful absurdity, the troupe has been making waves in the Toronto comedy scene. Most recently, they performed their sketch revue Queen Out of Service at the 20th Annual Toronto SketchFest, alongside troupe members David Civcic and Stephanie Perri. In July 2023, they brought their hit show Do You Think You’re Better Than Me? to the Toronto Fringe Festival and Hamilton Fringe Festival, receiving glowing reviews from Intermission Magazine, Parton and Pearl, So Sumi, and more. The show’s success was further cemented when it was named Critics’ Pick at the Hamilton Fringe Festival 2023. Following this momentum, Small Friend Tall Friend returned to Hamilton in October for The Staircase’s Take Two Festival, a showcase of the best comedy performances from the Hamilton Fringe. They have gone on to perform at festivals, including The Theatre Centre's Comedy Is Art Festival in 2024.

Beyond festivals, the group regularly performs sketch and musical comedy throughout Toronto, bringing their unique comedic voice to various stages. Their humour is rooted in pop culture, identity politics, and the awkward realities of being in their early 20s. They draw inspiration from boundary-pushing artists such as Tim Robinson (I Think You Should Leave), Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle (PEN15), Ziwe, Garfunkel and Oates, Bo Burnham, and Julio Torres.

WHAT: MTL Sketchfest with Self Care Clown, Potato Potato, and Small Friend Tall Friend

WHERE: Théâtre Sainte Catherine Café-Bar, 264 Ste. Catherine St. E., Montreal, H2X 1L4

WHEN: Friday, May 2 @ 8 PM

METRO: Berri-UQAM

DETAILS: ThePointOfSale

No Passport Needed

Get ready for a musical journey through Africa, the Caribbean, and Latin America!
Turko Balkan Kolektif is a group of passionate musicians dedicated to the revitalization and reinterpretation of traditional melodies from Turkey, Greece, and the Balkans. Their music blends complex rhythms, deeply rooted folk traditions, and modern arrangements, creating an immersive experience that connects cultures and generations.

WHAT: Merve Melodia & Turko Balkan Kolektif: Nuits d'Afrique Acoustic Cabaret

WHERE: Club Balattou, 4372 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Z5

WHEN: Sunday, May 4, Doors @ 830 PM, Show @ 930 PM

METRO: Mont-Royal (Orange)

TICKETS: LePointDeVente

New Szn Drop

After a busy year of theatre from some of English Montreal's finest companies, come hear what's on deck for the 2025/26 season!

Host Sarah Deshaies is back to guide you through what's coming up for Black Theatre Workshop, Geordie Theatre, Imago Theatre, Infinithéâtre, Repercussion Theatre, Talisman Theatre, and the Quebec Drama Federation. Don't miss this opportunity to preview the exciting theatrical offerings coming to Montreal's stages next year!

This event is free. Light refreshments and coffee will be provided.

WHAT: MTL Launch

WHERE: Conseil des arts de Montréal, 1210 Sherbrooke St. E., Montreal, H2L 1L9

WHEN: Tuesday, May 6, Doors @ 1030 AM, Presentation @ 11 AM

METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)

DETAILS: QuebecDrama

A Hilarious Hang

It's a night of hilarious comedy in the heart of Montreal. The vibe is cozy and warm, and the comics are killers! This week, Aseem headlines a killer lineup, featuring Erik Intrevado, Aloe Azimov, Julianna Corderre, Sloan Kooshan, and John Cotroqois.

Want to tell some jokes? Want to watch local comics try their latest funnies? Wet’n’Wild Bucket List Open Mic Competition starts at 10 PM. Show-up / Sign-up. I co-host this bad boy, so while I'm totally biased, I'm also correct when I say it's fantastic. Plus, the hang is hot! (Speaking of hot, if you order tea, they give it to you in the prettiest teacups. They've also got coconut water and kombucha…and booze. They have booze.)

WHAT: Comedy on Mackay #22

WHERE: NsurMackay, 1244 Mackay St., Montreal, H3G 2H4

WHEN: Tuesday, April 29 @ 8 PM, Open Mic @ 10 PM

METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green) & Lucien-l'Allier (Orange)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

What Goes Up…

Featuring ten performers, Tout s’effondre reveals the poetry of cycles of collapse and rebirth. It’s a show in which humanity constantly reinvents itself.

This new creation by Helen Simard (We All Fall Down) offers a powerful reflection on falling, both physically and symbolically, revealing the raw beauty of collapse as it oscillates between virtuosity and vulnerability. This piece for nine dancers and one musician explores the plurality of the human condition through order and disorder, action and inaction, the individual and the collective. A touching work where resistance and hope coexist.

WHAT: Tout s'effondre

WHERE: Agora de la dance, 1435 Bleury St., #102, Montreal, H3A 2H7

WHEN: May 7, 8 & 9 @ 7 PM, Saturday, May 10 @ 4 PM

METRO: Place-des-arts (Green)

DETAILS: AgoraDanse

World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!

What Do You Know? Like, Seriously

Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! The theme for this week is The Simpsons! Grab a pint, enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company. Hosted by Vance Michel, this week features Shosho Abotouk, and Peter Bowen.

WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

RSVP: Eventbrite

Classic Coke

Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!

Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!

Hosted by Vance Michel, this week features Pierre Lajuenesse, Pierre Divago, Radu Sona, Edyson Dufort, Colin Ryan, Matt Pins, Nazeer Khan, and Samson Cooperman.

WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Monday, April 28, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

Dirty Monday

The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!

Comics: show-up, sign-up